Thanks, But No Thanks

To make sure Americans abroad feel at home this Thanksgiving, the The American Bar at The Stafford hotel has created—with good intention, I'm certain—a cocktail menu to give the cocktail lover pause. I don't know why master bartender Ben Provost thought it a properly hands-across-the-water gesture to celebrated one American invention, Thanksgiving, by assaulting another, the Martini. But this is the vodkafest he has come up with.

Pumpkin Pie Martini – Stoli Vanilla Vodka, Liquor 43, Pumpkin Puree and a splash of Bailey’s are vigorously shaken and poured into a chilled martini glass with a Graham Cracker Crust rim

Apple-Sage Martini – Apple Vodka and sour mix are added to muddled sage leaves and limes, shaken and poured into a chilled martini glass, garnished with a sugar rim and topped with an apple slice

Carrot-Ginger Martini – Stoli Vodka, spiced rum, a splash of Stoli Vanilla and carrot juice are shaken and poured into a chilled martini glass and topped with Ginger Beer

Crantini – Kettle One Vodka, Cranberry and Lime juices and a splash of simple syrup are mixed and poured into a chilled martini glass and garnished with fresh cranberries

What? Not Turkeytini?

I don't know about you, but that menu makes me want to reach for the Alka-Selzter as a preemptive strike. To add insult to injury, all the above cocktails are available for £15 each. That's $25 bucks to you and me.