Will be me falling flat on my face from mental and physical exhaustion. That will occur some time in the evening hours of Friday, May 2.
To explain: Next week you will be hearing little from me. That is because I will be attending the spring session of the BAR Five-Day Certification Program on distilled spirits and mixology. BAR, in case you didn't know, stands for Beveral Alcohol Resource LLC, the New York City-based spirits institute created by Dale DeGroff, Doug Frost, Steven Olson, F. Paul Pacult, Andy Seymour, and David Wondrich.
They hold the program (I've come to call it the BAR exam, when discussing it with my wife and friends) twice a year. The April 28-May 2 session will only be the fifth such. I expect to have a great deal of fun leaning about and sample the various liquors of the planet, but I also expect to be utterly spent at the end of it. The first day, after all, lasts from 10 AM to 9 PM! Which give the term "intensive" a new meaning. Thereafter, it only gets a little easier: 9 AM to 7:30 PM. They take it easy on you on Friday, Exam Day—only 10 AM to 4 PM.
I have been instructed to dress casually, bring plenty of water, notebooks and pens. Also my "unforgettable laugh." (Not sure if I have one of those, but I'm looking.)